Not paying bills
once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”
friend: what have you done all summer?
me: “traveled a lot…”
i want to talk to you but im ugly
Instead of calling girls thirsty, we should call them D Hydrated.
The future is now
your fav childhood memory?